4th Recurrence (damn!)

From January 11th to 16th I worked in Great Falls Montana. The OR there is busy and well run, with challenging cases. I look forward to being there 1-2 weeks/month through early June. (A bonus find was a new Cajun restaurant there!)

The first couple of weeks I was home zipped by. A high pressure system meant lots of crystal clear days for skiing and flying.

On Friday January 23rd Mary Catherine's 88y.o. mother (Betty) had a fall in an assisted living facility in Seattle, fracturing her pelvis. Though not requiring surgery, it caused a lot of pain with movement. Treatment with pain killers set off a downward cascade: poor nutrition, aggravation of pre-existing cardiac problems, respiratory compromise,...per Betty's wishes the doctors were mercifully unaggressive. Eight days later she succumbed peacefully with her children and 90 y.o. husband at her bedside.
I had to leave the next day for my 9 month post stem cell transplant follow-up in Bethesda, MD, with a side trip to Boston to visit my parents. A cloud settled over that visit when I learned on Tuesday that my blood test showed a significant rise in my IgA. Review of my bone marrow with the Pathologist before my clinic appointment on Thursday confirmed my suspicions: the Myeloma is in the very early stage of coming back! This is my 4th recurrence. Let me tell you it doesn't get any easier to accept. My emotions ran the full gamut the first 8 hours: anger, frustration, fear. I've put myself and my family through so much - for this to happen again! Realistically Myeloma is classified as an "incurable" cancer, though 20-30% of patients who survive transplant achieve sustained remissions of 5, even 7 or more years. (But of course that means 70-80% will relapse.) I'm otherwise in excellent health and still have options: Some combination of chemo agents, perhaps a third transplant somewhere down the road. My doctor at NIH is offering participation in a new protocol involving taking my bone marrow, "activating" the marrow lymphocytes, and re-infusing them. I need to learn more about that as well as find out more about new chemotherapeutic options, protocols at other centers, etc.

Instead of flying back to Spokane after clinic on Thursday, I went to Boise where Mary Catherine, her whole family, and our three kids were gathered for Betty's funeral on Friday. It was the perfect antidote to my "relapse funk". Surrounded by my family and MC's boisterous loving siblings, nephews and nieces, there was music, food, and humorous family stories. Lead by a priest who had known Betty well, it was the most beautiful and meaningful "conventional" funeral I've ever been to.

The next day Mary Catherine and I had perfect weather for the long but scenic drive up through the heart of Idaho back to Sandpoint. The drive was tinged with a hint of bitter irony. We last drove it in October 2005 returning from my first transplant, full of hope that we had put the Myeloma behind us.

A week from now I return to Great Falls for two weeks. Though it's hard to be away from Mary Catherine and Sandpoint, I look forward to the total focus that my Anesthesia work requires. It takes my mind off my medical challenges and the associated uncertainties, and gives me the opportunity, at the end of each day, to feel like I've accomplished something and am still contributing. I find that's become even more important to me now.

My deepest thanks to all of you who read this blog and support me in so many ways. I know these setbacks take their toll on you as well. You can be sure that I will keep fighting this, and living to the fullest.

Love

Philip